Monday, November 19, 2012

King's Tree, Fremont -- REVIEW

Vampire friendly
1725 E Military Ave
Fremont, NE 68025
(402) 721-4212

I drew the short straw at home and found myself driving to Fremont for hockey practice on a Thursday night.  But, little did Mrs. HitThatDive know that I intentionally chose to “lose’ that round because the last time I drove to the rink in Fremont, I noticed a bar across the street…he shoots and scores!  Note to any hockey parents, send me an email for a complete list of places to grab a beer while your kid is on the ice…it sure beats freezing your ass off on metal bleachers just to watch practice.  Enough with my babbling…

PROS:  Polite regulars.  Vampire friendly. 
CONS:  Cramped bar area.  I did not see any of the Lost Boys.

First Impressions:  SHIT. Is it even open?  The sign was on in front, but that was it.  There was not a single ounce of light coming from inside the bar.  I took my phone out of my pocket and shined it in the windows…but I could not see a thing.  I figured, what the hell, and tried to open the door…AND…it opened.  What was behind the front door?  Another door.  I slowly opened the second door to reveal a crowed, well-lit and loud bar…I didn’t see that one coming.  I grabbed the only open seat at the bar…and waited. 
I see warm nuts

The Bar:  Since the bartender seemed more intent on cleaning tables, waiting on other people that weren’t me, and running the Keno machine…I had plenty of time to scan the rather small place.  A grand total of two beers on tap (Busch Light and Bud Light), nine seats at the bar (although mine was shoved in a corner and in the way of the front door) and eight tables…some of which were the smallest tables I have ever seen.   What really stood out to me was how the bar blocks out every single window and does not allow any light to escape out onto the sidewalk…at all.  Does Fremont have a large vampire population?  I would highly recommend thinking twice before ordering a Bloody Mary while you’re here.

The Crowd:  A common theme with the people in this bar was that they all generally were over the age of 50, prefer mixed drinks and are rather loud.  Now, not loud in a completely obnoxious way…but the words “inside voice” did not come to mind as I was sitting at the bar.  That said, everyone I talked to was extremely nice and one guy who was winning big at Keno when out of his way to walk over and buy me a beer.  In turn, I offered to buy him one as well and he said “That’s not how it works with me…I didn’t buy you a drink to get one in return.”  Thumbs up to honest and friendly regulars!
Thanks for the beer, dude

Service:  Kind of a mixed bag on this one.  It started off as non-existent but then progressively got better from there.  I was there just before a shift change, so it went from an older hard-working Johnny Lunchbucket-type to a much younger, and one of the cuter bartenders I’ve seen in a while.  In fairness to Johnny Lunchbucket, once he finally got around to asking for my order, he seemed to be a fine enough bartender.  His replacement was an upgrade in both service and aesthetics. 

Johnny Lunchbucket: C+
Cute Chick: A-

Prices:  Domestic bottles were setting me back $2.50 and mixed drinks, from what I could tell from looking at everyone’s pile of drinking money, were $3.50.  Maybe that’s why this place attracts so many mixed-drink drinkers (say that one three times fast).  Anyone remember what Bela Lugosi's drink of choice was?

Food:  By odd coincidence, I could not find a clove of garlic to save my life…Hmmmmmm?  The highlight of the food menu clearly was the buttery popcorn smell that overwhelmed the entire bar.  Other than that, as usual, there were some stale-looking non-descript bags of chips hanging on the wall.  Oh, almost forgot, they have warm nuts behind the bar.  (Editor’s Note…I will never get tired of typing the words “warm nuts”).
Vampires...all of them

Entertainment:  Even though this is a pretty small bar, they somehow managed to cram a dartboard into one of the corners…not sure there is enough room to play it so maybe just bring a wooden stake and hope for the best.  There also are a grand total of 2 TV’s and a lonely Internet jukebox that I’m guessing only gets played once in a blue moon. 

Bartender Chat:  In keeping with his Johnny Lunchbucket persona, when asked if he had any Dewar’s he responded by saying “Dewar’s? I don’t deal with that high-end shit!” Now, I’m not a scotch drinker, but I’m pretty sure a bottle Dewar’s White Label Blended Scotch Whiskey is NOT high-end shit. But thumbs up to bartenders that think it is!

Restroom:  Dare I go in there without Corey Feldman to provide me with back up?  Oh well, a job is a job…they were OK enough.  A bit on the smallish side, but not horrible…a toilet brush could do wonders in here if just given the chance. 
Is toiletbrush one word or two?

How Far Did My $20 Go:  I can’t lie, never got a chance to blow though all my drinking money here…as you recall I was driving my kid around and had to drastically reduce my now customary overindulgence.  But, $20 will get you eight beers…not great…not horrible. 

Final Impressions:  For me, it was a fine enough place to kill 90 minutes and avoid freezing my ass off in a hockey rink.  Should you go out of your way to stop in here?  I know I wouldn’t.  But, if you’re in the immediate area, or like I was, across the street why not stop by for a drink or two...it's a fine enough place for what it is.  A word of caution, I would avoid any conversations about “Team Edward” or “Team Jacob”…for all you know either of them might be lurking right by the warm nuts.  DAMN…it never gets old!

DIVE-O-METER
6

Not a bad little place...except for the vampires

2 comments:

  1. It is a cozy little hide-away to meet friends. The owners are friendly and honest. That says a lot in my book. They do have a wide range of clientelle. Different times and events bring in a crowd. Mixed drinks are good:)

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  2. I liked it. It's a good, well-run bar. The customers could not have been nicer the entire time I was in there.

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