Jukebox Skipping

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Spring Stumble -- TODAY

Let this be you.
 Need an excuse to NOT do yard work on an overcast Saturday?  Here it is! A FREE bus ride from the Brass Monkey (36th and V) to six great little dives located in Millard.

All you have to do is show up at 36th and V at 3:30 and we'll tote your soon to be drunk asses around for an afternoon of fun, friends and  a beer or 10 at a few bars you probably never even knew existed.  You were going to have a few beers today anyway, why not start a few hours early?  We will see you there!

Where are we going?  Well after a few beers at the Brass Monkey we are headed to these fine establishments...

13325 Millard Avenue
Omaha, NE 68137

As we learned last year...it's probably good to eat something before drinking in 6 or 7 additional bars.  Try the broasted chicken. 

13336 Millard Avenue  
Omaha, NE 68137

I made it into Joe's for the first time a few months ago, and I've been looking for a reason to have a few more beers there ever since.   
13328 Millard Avenue  
Omaha, NE 68137

Even though it is literally right next door to Joe's Duck Inn, I've never been in here.  Looks like a good place to me.  
4936 So. 135th
Omaha, NE 68137

I know nothing about this one either, but it's between Piccolo's and Blind Dave's Bar...so what the hell...it made the list.  
5082 South 136th Street  
Omaha, NE 68137

I like this place and it has a decent patio-area out back.  They even include the HitThatDive review right on their website.  
4917 South 136th Street  
Omaha, NE 68137

The day will end here for the one and only goldfish races!

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Welcome "Binge-Drinking" Ben -- NEW EMPLOYEE

HitThatDive is proud to announce the hiring of our first bar reviewer not named Scuba Steve.  We have decided to hire “Binge-drinking” Ben C. after his extensive interview yesterday with HTD Director of Strategy/Mayor of South Omaha/Most Handsome Man in America…John John.  (John John is pictured below with Binge-Drinking Ben whose face has been blurred out so no douchy bar owners know who he is after he writes a really bad review of their place).

Let the interview begin.

HitThatDive was particularly impressed by Ben’s qualifications listed in his cover letter:  

“As a lifelong resident of Omaha and devout connoisseur of all things beer and bar related, I believe I would be an excellent addition to the Hit That Dive review team.  Very few among us enjoy and appreciate dive bars as much as this applicant and my lack of anything to show for my 15 years in the workforce proves it.  My resume boasts years of experience drowning sorrows in dark bars and shady pubs throughout the metro and all around eastern Nebraska.  I have an intimate knowledge of some of the most obscure of watering holes, from downtown to the far west and everything in between.”

Welcome to the team Binge-drinking Ben!  And always remember, as an employee of HitThatDive…showing up hung-over at work not only is tolerated…it’s encouraged!

Want to join our expanding team of wino-reviewers?  Send your resume to hitthatdive@gmail.com.  And maybe, just maybe, you can become an employee of Forbes magazine’s “500 Least Admired Companies to Work For”.

The Most Handsome Man in America.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Wayside Tavern, Omaha -- REVIEW

No signs to be found
8503 Maple Street  
Omaha, NE 68134
402 391-7162 

Last weekend I was on my way to review Sullivan’s Bar (at the request of HitThatDive reader Elizabeth Sanders), but as it turns out they don’t open until 4:00 p.m., and it was only 1:30.  Not wanting to wait several hours for a beer or two, I got back into my car and started driving …and driving…and driving. I found myself heading West on Maple and could not remember the name of a bar I have passed 100 times.  Then all the sudden I saw the sign WAYSIDE…there it is!  A quick illegal U-turn later…and let’s see what this bar is all about. 

Pros:  It’s a bar, no more…no less.  30 minute conversation about boobs.
Cons: For the ladies…the old dude to female ratio was 10:1.  (That may be a “Pro” for some of you.)

Plenty of room to belly-up
First Impressions:  Geez it’s dark in here, apparently windows cost extra when this place was built several decades (or more) ago.  The bar itself was so crowded (except for a seat right next to an honest-to-goodness hobo) that I had to order a beer at the bar and sit at a table by myself…kind of a sad thing to do.  But so far, it’s way better than the two reviews on Yelp had indicated. 

The Bar:  There is lots of room and plenty of bar stools at the longer than the usual (that’s what she said) bar.  There are at least 15 tables and booths, so I assume that finding a place to sit is never really an issue.  And good…the hobo just moved…I am snagging the seat next to where he was sitting (no chance I sit on a bar stool that was still warm from that dude).  The walls consist of old-school wood paneling circa 1960ish…OK by me.  This looks to be a bar to slam cheap beer and, I'm in luck they have three beers on tap (Bud, Bud Light and Miller Lite) and a cooler that looks to have a decent variety of domestic beer as well.

No frills...solid place
The Crowd:  15 or so old “professional” drinkers and exactly one woman (not counting the bartender).  But, unlike some of the more depressing places that I’ve been where everyone just sits quietly and stares into their drink, this was an outgoing group of regulars.   And clearly they are regulars because where else you have a 30 minute conversation about the bartenders small knockers, and, instead of her slugging a few people…she joins in the conversation too. 

Service:  Small boobs or not, she was a great bartender.  Cute, always smiling, and in an odd twist…even smelled nice.  Not sure I’ve ever made that observation of a bartender before?  She was filling up my beer as fast as I could drink it, and still had time to walk outside to see if the hobo had caught the bus as he said he was going to do.  Not to point out the obvious here…but that’s where windows really come in handy. 

Price:  I was paying two bucks a pint, so assume that you can drink on the cheap here no matter what you’re ordering.  I think bottled beer was $2:50…but why pay MORE money to get LESS beer?  Oh don’t give me that draft beer gives you a headache crap…beer is beer! 

Vampires could hang out here
Food:  I had read a review that they sell pizza.  I saw a few things that looked like pizza pans in the corner of the bar.  But I did not see any menus…and more importantly…I did not smell anything that resembled the smell of mozzarella cheese at all.  The hobo kind of smelled like Limburger…but that is a smell I don’t associate with pizza places.  That’s a long way to go to say…I’m not sure. 

Entertainment:  Usual stuff consisting of a dartboard, pool table, pinball machine and a jukebox.  An extra thumbs up to Wayside for playing some good music nice and loud…but not too loud that it would blow you out of the room.

Restrooms:  Clean and old.  The men’s room sort of reminded of the bathrooms in elementary school.  If you’re looking for it, the men's room is back by the pool table. 

No issues here
Bartender Chat:  Two conversations ruled the afternoon…1. Who the hell was the hobo?  2.  The bartender’s below-average size boobage.  To her credit, she did seem legitimately concerned about the hobo (who literally had a pillowcase slung over his shoulder) and completely unconcerned about the onslaught of “itty-bitty-titty” jokes being sent her way from nearly half the old dudes at the bar.  This wasn’t exactly a Knights of the Roundtable-type of conversation…but it was amusing nonetheless. 

How Far Did my $20 Go:  Even I can do the math on this one…10 beers!  I sometimes think that $1.75 would be better…but I hate how the quarters seem to pile up in my pocket after a few rounds. 

Final Impressions:  Looking for a no-frills to have a few cheap beers, and maybe even a few cheap laughs at the bartender’s expense…this is the place for you.  Would you drive halfway across town just to get drunk here…probably not?  But if you live in the area (are aren’t already a regular) or if you find yourself on that part of Maple, I have no problems saying that you should Hit This Dive.

The only sign that says Wayside Tavern

Wayside Tavern on Urbanspoon

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Happy National Beer Day!

What is "National Beer Day"?  Some of us consider EVERY day beer day, but, April 7th has historical significance to those of us that have been know to throw a few back on occasion.

"You might remember the snail's pace at which time passed when you waited for your 21st birthday, but can you imagine being an adult and waiting more than a decade to buy beer legally? Enacted on Jan 17, 1920, the 18th Amendment "outlawed 'intoxicating liquors for beverage purposes,' but made no reference to alcohol content," according to the Alcohol Policy Information System. It was the Volstead Act, which "set the legal alcohol limit at one-half of 1 percent."

On March 23, 1933, President Franklin Roosevelt signed the Cullen-Harrison Act, allowing the "resumption of the manufacture and sale of 3.2 percent beer and light wines in the states that had already repealed their dry laws." The act went into effect on April 7, 1933.

Similar to New Year's Eve or the night before Thanksgiving, happy hour celebrating National Beer Days starts on April 6, with New Beer's Eve. Consider it a mini reenactment of the crowd of thirsty people who lined the streets on the April 6, 1933, outside of Milwaukee breweries waiting to buy their legal beer. Frost those mugs at home or designate a diver and hit the town. Remember to toast FDR."