Friday, September 5, 2014

Where to Grab a Drink in Omaha -- Ebola Edition

Theoretically speaking...you're in from out of town and have never been to Omaha before.  After a flight halfway across the globe, and a police escort to one of our top-notch medical facilities, you find yourself sitting alone in your sparsely decorated containment facility.  What's a guy to do?

In our haste as a community to report every last second of the bubonic-like plague you've contracted, we've neglected to be a gracious host to our city. Among the things I'm told this city has to offer is a world-class zoo, underrated performing arts scene, and more one-named restaurants than almost any other city this size (I don't get it either) .

And, we have dive bars.  Like, a whole bunch of them...and some of the best ones are right outside the doors of the Nebraska Medical Center.  The Med Center is situated right smack dab in the center of town, an odd place to bring an Ebola patient, but that's now water under the bridge.

So, when nobody's looking, sneak out of your hyperbolic chamber, pretend to be the new orderly in town, take the freight elevator to the ground floor, walk out the back door of the hospital...and be ready to get your drink on!

**A note of caution**  Here in Omaha we're a bit new to the whole "I could potentially die from a predominately third-world disease" thing.  So, when out visiting some of the best dive bars we have to offer, always practice our now required "Ebola Greeting".

Know it, learn it, live it.

Bud Olson's Bar -- About as divey as a dive bar can get, Bud's is the perfect place to have a few cold beers between life-saving treatments.  And, the best part is Bud's is open Monday-Friday at 6:00...perfect for those round the clock nurses that seem intent on waking you up every few hours.



Alderman's Bar -- This has to be one of my favorite bar in Midtown on Leavenworth Street. It's a great place to get drunk, have fun and drink on the cheap. This really is a place that you would think most great dives should look like...complete with the kind of barflies you want to drink with...well when you're no so under the weather I suppose.



Marylebone Tavern -- You're in luck...the "Bone" has food on a Friday night.  Try the wings and tacos...and then head out back to their great patio to keep a safe distance from the regulars...no one here wants to call in sick on Monday with Ebola...but I suppose I don't have to tell you that.



Barrett's Barleycorn -- I'm assuming that volleyball isn't all that appealing at the moment. But, that's OK, stop on by anyway to try a cheesesteak and checkout the pretty diverse selection of beers. I just know the food here is going to be way better than the slop you'll be forced to eat at a hospital.



The Down Under --  For my money, the best place to hide out on this list.  It's just tucked away enough, and plenty dark, that nobody will really notice any potentially festering sores on your skin. Ask John about the special of the day...he's always got something good going on.



The Leavenworth Bar -- Tell Kirk and the gang that HitThatDive sent you.  Have a seat at the bar, shoot some pool and use the backdoor to occasionally check to see if anyone from the Medical Center has formed a posse to track you down.  Most of us have seen the Dustin Hoffman movie "Outbreak" and would prefer not to deal with that on a weekend, well, or ever for that matter.



The Neighber's -- Careful in here, there's a reason that this bar opens seven days a week at 6:00 AM, and that's because most of the staff of the Med Center clock out and immediately make a B-Line for this place the moment in opens.  Don't be confused, the beer comes in mason bars, those are not for specimen samples.


By my calculations, there's only four hours a day you can't find an open bar in that part of Omaha...is this a great city of what! Enjoy your time here, get better, and remember it's not that we're not a friendly bunch...we're all just a bit miffed (and somewhat freaked out) about the whole Ebola thing...as I'm sure you are too!  In any case, enjoy your time in our city. Cheers!

Welcome to Omaha...enjoy your time here.  





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