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Wednesday, October 8, 2014

HTD's Words of Wisdom from Julian Young

It's not very often that a get off topic here on good old HitThatDive.  But every now and then it might be a good idea to sprinkle in some words of wisdom that I hear while throwing back a few beers with friends.  

Last month I met Julian Young, and even though I'm sure we took completely different paths to get where we are in life today, we seemed to arrive at the same conclusions in how we should approach life moving forward.  

In an article earlier this year, the Omaha World-Herald wrote this article about Julian...here's just a short intro from the article. 

"Julian Young might have wound up as one of those sad clichés — the troubled youth whose rough childhood, adolescent drug use, college drug dealing and violent temper landed him in jail or a grave. Instead, he has published his fourth self-help book.  Julian's path from drug dealer to model citizen hasn't been an easy, straight line."
Julian and I met up last Friday in Benson for a few beers and great conversation.   Never underestimate the power of bar conversations.  Why is that?   Well, let's have Julian explain...



The Power of Follow Through: Three Unexpected Relationship Lessons that Blue Moon and Some Good Conversation Taught Me

It’s amazing what you can learn when you listen. I mean, really listen and observe and connect the dots in your life and relationships. With so many things taking up our time, we often overlook the power of building healthy, long-lasting relationships. What are the pieces? What do we need to feel secure about and around the people we give our time?

Over a few cold beers, (yes, Blue Moon was my drink of choice) and a quiet night at Liv Lounge, I found myself knee-deep in a conversation with someone I’d been in an early stage business relationship with. 

Suddenly I realized I was making the same subtle mistake that had snared me in business relationships in the past. I wasn’t truly being observant and paying attention. Not to what the person said, but to the actual reality of how much of what they said actually lined up with what they did.

Here’s some critical relationship building lessons I realized over a Blue Moon, the best salsa and chips ever, and some damn good conversation:

1.  Things Easiest to Overlook are Often the Most Influential

It’s ironic isn’t it? That most of the things we tend to bypass on the road to solid relationship building are the things that tend to impact us the most if people don’t do them. Simple things like: being straightforward and honest, being clear about our intentions, following through on our word, or really listening… and I mean listening to the other person’s needs during conversation. As easy as it is to skip past these simple elements, their impact in our relationships is immeasurable.

2.  How a Relationship Starts Sets the Course for its Destination

I wrote a blog post awhile ago called “Ship Happens.” It’s based on the idea that in life things like relationships, leadership, stewardship, etc. all have “ships” attached to them because they must be steered or navigated… In a snap shot:

How relationships start is a prediction of how they will end up, unless we steer or navigate them in a different direction.



3.  Where Actions and Words Meet, a Promising Future Lies Ahead

In my conversation, I realized something you probably have realized too, just on a much bigger scale than I expected. When a person’s natural conversation about their life continually shows up in what they do, you can expect some amazing things from that relationship. 

Of course, this doesn’t exclude you; none of these lessons do. So you can look at this blog post as a bit of a two-edged sword: You can either lead by the example or become it. No one is an exception to these rules.

In essence, never underestimate the power of a good conversation. Whether it’s over a good beer, a glass of wine, or some steak tacos (because I could go for some right now), sometimes it’s the best way to connect the dots and add up all the pieces to where a relationship stands and is actually headed.


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