Omaha NE 68106
Trust me on this, I don't make it a point to seek out bad wings...they just always seem to find me. Case in point, my first (and maybe only) trip to Dudley's in Aksarben Village. (Note to self...stop ordering wings when in this outdoor mall-like thingy-area as evidenced by last week's DJ's Dugout Wing Review).
|Dudley's is a French word that means "bad wings"|
Now, over the past year I've had more than a few people say to me that Dudley's has some great wings, but being a person that operates by the old Russian phrase "Doveryai, no proveryai" (Trust but verify) made famous by Ronald Reagan...the lovely Mrs. HitThatDive and I were off to the the shopping area named after Nebraska spelled backwards...
Scuba Steve's Rules: I rate wings in five categories for a total potential perfect score of 50. The current reigning champion (by virtue of a committee vote) is The Pheasant with a total score of 48.
But, for those that recall, the real reigning HitThatDive "King of the Wing" for 2015 is Ray's Original Buffalo Wings by virtue of our roving band of wing judges earlier this year. Read it all right here...HitThatDive King of the Wing 2015.
And, for shits and giggles (mostly to get the shits) the worst score has been the severed toe wings at LaVista Keno which flatlined at a 2. Just click right here to get the complete list of HitThatDive wings reviews. Even the ones that I'd rather not remember.
First Impressions: Before we get to the wings, let me just say that our server was great! (It always makes me feel better to say something positive before everything else I write is completely negative.) Now, for the rest of it. As is the standard, I ordered my wings with traditional Buffalo sauce....from this point on it all gets a little strange.
Now, quoting directly from their menu, "Golden fried wings tossed in one of our many signature sauces, char-grilled and then sauced again. Available boneless. Choose from 7 sauces created with an award winning BBQ chef we call Dad:"
|Looking for that extra plate|
Not only were these wings not fried, char-grilled or even tossed in anything...they were served up on a fancy plate at room temperature after being hosed-down with a few squirts of what surely was Sriracha. And hey Dudley's, I would highly suggest that you shop for your celery somewhere other than Goodwill.
Score: 1 out of 10
Sauce: "Signature sauces"? Squirting some Sriracha on wings and then dumping some black pepper on for good measure does not even qualify for being called a sauce.
For the first time in my life, I may need to take a break from wings AND Sriracha after belching these things up for most of the afternoon. Not sure I even need to waste anymore time on this part. But the question always remains...why did I just keep eating?
|Does this appeal to anyone?|
Score: 0 out of 10
Crispy: The only thing less crispy than the wings was the celery at Dudley's...not sure that's ever been accomplished before...bravo! As I've said, there was no evidence whatsoever that these things ever saw a fryer or a grill as stated in their menu. I'm not even sure these were cooked the day I was there. I could be wrong on this one, but these wings seemed to be reheated from the night before.
Now, if this section was called "Luke-warm and Chewy" this would have received a perfect 10! As it stands...not so much.
|How old is that thing?|
Score: 1 out of 10
Size: All but one seemed to be wing-like size. But one oversized bad boy, while having the good fortune of being on the bottom of the pile and missing the Sriracha shower...seemed to have the misfortune of getting an extra dose of black pepper, caraway seeds, or ants....I'm still not sure which it was?
And one sad little guy was the right size, but was so withered it looked like the skin of a 90 year old man who just spent the better part of two-hours soaking his toes in epson salts. Other than that...80% of the wings at least looked the part! (My form of a compliment)
|What exactly is that?|
Score: 4 out of 10
Extras: See, this is where simple attention to detail really shows. If you're a bar or restaurant that has wings on the menu, several things should be fundamental. One: Extra napkins. Two: An extra plate. Three: Serving celery from this decade.
Throw in that the blue cheese that I ordered seemed to be some sort of chunky Ranch...as verified by Mrs. HitThat Dive...and they couldn't even get that right.
Ultimately, I'm throwing five points to Dudley's for simply including celery...but immediately deducting three points because it was old and withered. But at least it did make it to the plate. Yay!
|Older than Dick Clark!|
Score: 2 out of 10
Final Score: 8 out of 50
Scuba's Final Thoughts: Unlike a few places this year that actually served me still-frozen-on-the-inside wings...these were just a sad attempt to grab $9 out of my wallet without putting in an ounce of effort whatsoever.
How lukewarm wings can make it from a kitchen to a customer's table is just mind boggling to me. Here's a tip...if you don't see steam coming off of chicken wings you're getting ready to throw in front of someone...you're doing it wrong!
|Chunky Ranch! It's all the rage.|
Now, Mrs. HitThatDive ordered some kind of wrap that she said was pretty good, and some of the other things in the place smelled fine enough to me. But, at the end of the day, I can only write about what I was served...and these were a total failure from the second I saw them. And yet, I ate most of them in the name of entertainment...what is wrong with me?
|PASS THE TUMS!|